I believe some introductions are in order

This is the part where I tell you who the hell I am and what the hell I do.

My name is Haz. I'm 24, female and 5'1". I'm Scottish and Russian on my dad's side (both parents emigrated, fun story) and Polish and German on my mother's. 

I train and groom dogs, as well as do some medical billing for my mother after her previous secretary abruptly quit. 

I enjoy April Smith and the Great Picture Show, Bitter:Sweet, and Yann Tiersen.

I can drink most grown men under the table, swear like a sailor, and have an inexplicable rapport with sea creatures.

And I was married for three days before being told that we were moving to Japan.