First major (minor?) dog crisis

Elsa was due today for her heartworm pill. Like most pills, you give them once a month and it kills pretty much all internal parasites. Luckily for me, I'm on a schedule trying to get her "stuff you have to sit still for ten minutes to get done" (advantix, pill, nail trim - I do it all in one go) day to the first of the month, so I've been doing it a few days earlier every time.

This is what it's like. 

I'd noticed that she'd been acting oddly for a few days. She'd either scarf her meals down like she was starving or peck like a bird, she'd wake up early and cry for an hour, she was sleeping a lot more and attacking a lot less, and a ton of little things that you notice when you have a totally-healthy-and-not-at-all-unreasonable-obsession-is-kind-of-a-strong-word interest in your dog.

I gave her the pill on Monday, a few days before she was due, and since the moment I gave her the pill that morning, she started having accidents in the house. HP got incredibly frustrated, since she'd been doing so well on the housebreaking front, and I told him that it was because she'd been doing well that this was a bad sign.

She spent the rest of the day being restless and overly affectionate and refusing to eat. I got increasingly worried. Sure enough, that night, she passed a small, but unmistakably adult roundworm.

A picture of a baby wallaby instead. Because roundworms are gross.

Despite having seen infested dogs in my time working with them, that night I engaged frantically in many rounds of Ask Dr. Internets on all sorts of questions. Everything pretty much said the same thing: dog roundworms are common, easy to kill, and even if they do pass to people (rare) they can't survive.

The next morning, I was at the vet as soon as it opened, asking them what I should do. I gave the techs and doctors a good laugh, even the ones who didn't speak any English - apparently "oh god what do I doooo" panic translates just as well as it does in the States.

"Let me guess - first time she's had worms?"
"Yes!"
"Did she eat this morning? Poop? Want to play?"
"Yes..."
"She's fine; the pills kill everything. Even the eggs. She'll be clean in two days. Stop letting her eat dirt and grass and bugs."
"...Bugs, too?"
"Yep, good luck with that."

Apparently, there's no monthly med on the market that prevents worms, just kills them on a regular cycle. Worms here are very common, and the girls told me that as long as I kept up with the pills, I may see the occasional one every few months or so. It's the people that don't give their dogs the pills and don't clean up after them that cause the big problems, they added, and that meant that the lot behind my house where Elsa goes to the bathroom is probably a haven for all the stray cats (huge problem here) and lazy dog owners (huge problem everywhere).

I thanked them profusely for putting up with me (they told me it was funny and that crazy dog owners are the same in every country) and even though they said it wasn't necessary, I washed all of Elsa's bedding and toys. For my own peace of mind.

BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER OKAY

I felt guilty at first, because I strongly believe that it's my responsibility as her owner to make sure that she's healthy, but both HP and the vet reassured me that I was doing everything right and that common parasites are totally normal in humid subtropical climates. Also, Elsa probably didn't have any damn idea what was going on.

Vet recommended that if I really wanted to help her out after the de-worming, I should make sure all of her nutritional needs were okay. Sweet potato, thoroughly-cooked salmon, and a bit more food than usual would give her a good start. And changing her pee spot. So now we're back to a litterbox, except it's outside on our porch. She's doing well so far - and now she doesn't whine about having to go out in the rain. Less wet dog smell, too.

And I'll bet anything that all Elsa remembers from this whole ordeal is that one day she slept a lot, but the next she got big chunks of two of her favorite foods and doesn't have to get wet to pee any more.

Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Anecdotes from Japan: Slang for genitalia, aka Why you should always have a dictionary

So, even though the OS is in Japanese, my denki jisho (electronic dictionary) and I are inseparable. It has JtE, EtJ, Kanji lookup, and various other wonderful features that I don't understand how to use yet.

It basically looks like a DS. Mine is sans stylus.

It's good for deciphering things in a grocery store and on various storefronts, but not much use in conversation, as that moves quickly and most people (in either language) prefer mime to get their point across.

Also, though I do make it a point to talk to people when out on my own, most of my attempts at extended conversation have been with HP around, seeing as these first few days, we've been mobbed by family members. The closest are HP's youngest aunt, Kiyomi-obasan, and her husband, Yoshio-ojisan. She peppers her sentences with the few English words she knows, and Yoshio is a fairly atypical Japanese man in that he's a chatterbox. Not that I mind - it's refreshing to see someone so friendly - but both of them have encouraged my speaking Japanese, and I've been able to hold broken conversation with them on my own and even make a few terrible jokes.

Fast forward to Sunday night. We're invited out to dinner with them and their only daughter, Reika, who is my age and recently married. Her husband Yuuji was also there, and I'd been warned that Reika was uncomfortable with her American relatives, and therefore would likely be functionally mute throughout dinner. Though after introducing myself (in Japanese) and giving her the gift I'd brought over (a designer label bracelet covered in gold filigree and various charms), she seemed to warm to me a lot. Dinner was ordered, we talked about various subjects at normal Japanese pace with HP giving me rough translations when needed, though I could mostly follow along and contribute. They asked about my family, what kinds of foods I liked, and how I was liking Japan and wow was my Japanese getting better by the day! Also, what anime and manga did I like? Because everyone does.

A mysterious but great philosopher known only as The Sphinx once said: "We are weakest when we think ourselves strong." And just as I was relaxing into the flow of conversation and congratulating myself on how well everything was going, I heard a word I didn't understand.

Now, there's a phrase that almost every beginner Japanese student learns on the first day. It follows the pattern of "Xx wa nan(i) desu ka?" meaning "What is xx/What does xx mean?"

I use this phrase a lot. The Japanese are usually happy to oblige when I don't understand, and I've learned most of my daily vocabulary this way. So when HP and his uncle were talking about work and wives and pain and snickering, I asked about the word I didn't know.

"Sumimasen - 'Kintama' wa nan desu ka?"

At this point, he and his uncle started laughing, and everyone else, who'd been having another conversation, asked what was so funny. I turned to them and repeated the question, and they laughed too. Kiyomi smacked her husband a little, and HP only managed to say that they were "Ichiban no taisetsu" [the most important thing] before he and his uncle died laughing again. At this point, I sighed and grabbed my jisho out of my purse (a habit that made his family laugh without fail, and this was no exception) to look it up. Reika looked over my shoulder, saying "Arimasen!" [It won't be there!]

Except it was.

Don't bother looking it up; I'll save you the trouble. Hint: It means "balls."

Kintama - lit. "golden balls;" testicles.

Reika laughed even harder as she declared "Aru yo!" [It's there!] and everyone broke. Again.

I had (albeit unknowingly) functionally asked them "What is 'nutsack?'" and then looked it up in the dictionary.

His uncle bought me a beer and gave me a thumbs-up. I am apparently the most hilarious white person ever.

The moral of the story is always have your dictionary with you and men are the same everywhere the end.

Ugggh. I take that last post back.

No win.

No win at all.


Just got off the phone with my mother-in-law. We're in the process of planning the reception down in Virginia for her side of the family who couldn't make it to the New England wedding. Trying to plan around it is incredibly stressful for everyone involved, with the transit, hotel, party planning, work and trying not to upset anyone which is incredibly difficult when you're already strung out from all the other things. We've been playing phone tag for about a month now, and my parents were starting to get close to deadlines for planning their trip down. I called my MIL today to get some straight answers, and instead got a bombshell.

HP's japanese grandmother is in the hospital, and doing poorly. She's 93, and she's tired. And in Okinawa. If she gets any worse, HP and his dad will want to go visit her, and his dad has pretty much told him to be ready to go at any point.

This means that he probably won't be coming back before orientation. I lose him a month and a half early, and I therefore lose my main support for moving to another country, learning an entirely new language, and leaving my whole circle of friends and family.

This also means that he may not be getting his master's degree, as he's not scheduled to complete it yet. And that the reception in VA will be completely moot and all this stress and planning will go out the window.

This also means that I'll be packing up the entire fucking house by myself.

this is my face right now.

I should've seen this coming, though. I was doing ALL THE THINGS! to prep, and they were going picture-perfectly. I'd finished learning katakana and moved on to kanji, I'd gotten through another chunk of Rosetta stone, I was using Japanese in the home and in conversations with HP, the dog-prep was full of happy coincidences in my favor and I was so on top of things it was like I was some kind of motivational superhero with eyes that shot "YOU CAN DO IT" lasers.

I blame the JET orientation. It lulled me into a false sense of security by being full of cool, happy people who made this whole crazy idea seem totally feasible.