Ugggh. I take that last post back.

No win.

No win at all.


Just got off the phone with my mother-in-law. We're in the process of planning the reception down in Virginia for her side of the family who couldn't make it to the New England wedding. Trying to plan around it is incredibly stressful for everyone involved, with the transit, hotel, party planning, work and trying not to upset anyone which is incredibly difficult when you're already strung out from all the other things. We've been playing phone tag for about a month now, and my parents were starting to get close to deadlines for planning their trip down. I called my MIL today to get some straight answers, and instead got a bombshell.

HP's japanese grandmother is in the hospital, and doing poorly. She's 93, and she's tired. And in Okinawa. If she gets any worse, HP and his dad will want to go visit her, and his dad has pretty much told him to be ready to go at any point.

This means that he probably won't be coming back before orientation. I lose him a month and a half early, and I therefore lose my main support for moving to another country, learning an entirely new language, and leaving my whole circle of friends and family.

This also means that he may not be getting his master's degree, as he's not scheduled to complete it yet. And that the reception in VA will be completely moot and all this stress and planning will go out the window.

This also means that I'll be packing up the entire fucking house by myself.

this is my face right now.

I should've seen this coming, though. I was doing ALL THE THINGS! to prep, and they were going picture-perfectly. I'd finished learning katakana and moved on to kanji, I'd gotten through another chunk of Rosetta stone, I was using Japanese in the home and in conversations with HP, the dog-prep was full of happy coincidences in my favor and I was so on top of things it was like I was some kind of motivational superhero with eyes that shot "YOU CAN DO IT" lasers.

I blame the JET orientation. It lulled me into a false sense of security by being full of cool, happy people who made this whole crazy idea seem totally feasible.